There’s more to the picture than meets the eye

Hey hey, my my… I need help!

I just realized my cooking adventure of late had left me with a ton of photos to upload on Flickr. I’ve been on the photo-sharing site for over 3 years now and never thought I’d manage to fill up the 200 pic limit, ever. But here it is… I’m just about to hit the mark and the site’s been bugging me for over a month… Go Pro, bro!!! Well, looking at the big picture, I love photography and I’d probably won’t stop taking pictures anytime soon. And so, after a bit of research, reading on people’s opinions and experience, I’m finally on the verge of deciding to suck it up and, well… go Pro!!!

That’ll set me back 25 bucks! Ouch! So much for my holiday shopping.

Well okay, maybe not. But I’m actually hitting Arizona for the Christmas weekend and I plan to shoot like a maniac while I’m down there. I wonder how much cactus photography I can take. So anyway, I would really need the unlimited web space that Flickr’s Pro account offers. Besides, it would be nice to finally be able to organize my pics into multiple sets. And the groups! I love the groups and the discussions. Interactions with other folks have been incredibly helpful, educational and inspiring.

I’ve also wrestled with switching to other sites like Photobucket and Zooomr. I considered Smugmug as well, but they’re even more expensive. I don’t know. Is there really more to the picture than meets my wallet? Just want to make a sound decision, that’s all.

So, should I or should I not go with Flickr Pro? Someone help me decide, please.

 

Cookin’ up a storm

Been a while since I wrote anything here. But trust me, I have been around. Just not in here, unfortunately. Well, sometimes you generate a new passion and it steals all of your time you don’t have any left to write about it. In my case, I have been cooking a lot lately. Not necessarily pigging out, just… cooking, that’s all. Funny thing happened yesterday… I cooked 3 dishes in 6 hours. Man, I was so tired I felt I needed some food. So, I treated myself to a little fish filet sandwich at McDonald’s.

Just to back track a little… Last year, I went to the doctor for the first time since… well, since my mom dragged me there when I was a kid, actually. I’m not kidding you! So at 45 years of age, I naturally thought, wow, I must be in big trouble now. Well, I was lucky I almost got a perfectly clean bill of health. I did say almost, yes. That’s because at the last minute, I was prescribed a cholesterol lowering med to be taken in the next six months. Just for precaution, the doc affirmed.

At the start of this year, I vowed to be a lot more health conscious and try to do as much as I could to not be given another round of prescription the next time I visit the doc. Well, it’s been a fun ride, actually. Back in January, I weighed in at 152 lbs. Not terribly bad for a guy standing at a towering 5′6″. But still a tad overweight, I guess. Golly, when you’re in your forties, your body’s not very forgiving. I should’ve learned this early on. Anyhow, so I began counting calories, being mindful of fat intake, nutrition, physical activity and all that good stuff I never thought existed before. I started walking a lot. At work and everywhere else. Ditched the elevators and took the stairs. I purposely missed my floors so I could walk even more. Started experimenting with vitamins and bought as much organic food as I could. Fat-free this low-fat that, you name it. I spent half of my time in the grocery store just reading labels.

But mind you…I didn’t obsess!

Okay, maybe, just a little in the beginning. However, as the months passed by, I realized that trying to develop a healthy habit shouldn’t be about losing weight or because you’re afraid of the imminent bad news your doctor might have to break. It should be something you’re meant to do. So, as an artist, I found that as I labored in the kitchen, the joy wasn’t coming from a health perspective. Although it was definitely a bonus, my satisfaction came from an artistic standpoint. It was creativity that made me want to cook. I cook even when I’m not hungry. It’s not about eating as much as it was about creating something. Well, I knew I was gonna get hungry sooner or later so it’s not like it goes to waste, right? Now, this is probably what filled in the void that my songwriting and music playing has caused in the past couple of years. I had to channel it somewhere as art is what keeps me functioning. But it had to be meaningful, somehow. And cooking was.

Now, I’m not a vegetarian. I don’t like to label myself. But I try to be sensible and responsible, as well as practical, about food and nutrition. I believe food is something all humans have to be consciously grateful for – in words and in action – at all times. Food is a gift that nature abundantly and freely gives. There’s a lot of respect that needs to come from that alone. But I’m not going to elaborate on this anymore as I’m sure you already know what I’m talking about and that we all have our own little ways of translating this into our own lives anyway.

Though for me, it definitely has been very inspiring. For one, I have lost 20 lbs. and my waistline went from 34 to 29. All in 10 months! I feel so much better and I have more energy. I’m only shouting this through the rooftops because I’m not young anymore. If I was in my twenties, it’s probably moot but when you’re over the hill, it is something to be  celebrated, I think.

Okay, what I’m trying to say here is (Yeah Chris, what are you trying to say already?) that cooking has become a true passion lately. One that brings me joy and fulfillment. I mean, I’m a fan of cooks and chefs on TV, too! They’re like my new found rock stars and I watch their shows as much as I did all those hair bands back in the 80’s. I get inspired, not necessarily by their recipes, but by the passion they invoke into their craft. It’s infectious! That passion is what builds my own. The only difference probably is that I try to be as consciously responsible as I possibly could. Towards nature and my health. And without being snobbish.

Oh yeah, I also started a food blog, lately. Check it out.

 

Show, don’t tell

“We don’t need no education. We don’t need no thought control.”

Someone came up to me the other day asking how much I charge for guitar lessons. Happens a lot, actually. Usually, after some sort of goofy performance I did. Unfortunately, I have to be a bearer of bad news by saying I don’t teach. Not anymore, that is. But not because I don’t want to. I just don’t think – and this from experience – that mere “teaching” is effective and productive in a real world situation. Just because I graduated from college doesn’t mean I’ve got it all figured out, does it? Some people who never went to school are more substantially successful than the ones holding a degree.

You see, I don’t want my “students” to do stuff simply because I said so. I expect them to challenge me and prove to themselves that they can do better than what I’m telling them to do. I expect them to step outside the realms of the norm. To carve out a distinct identity for themselves. An identity that flaunts progress, not nostalgia!

So, what am I talking about here? Intense motivation and passion. We can read all the books in the world and spend half our life in school, but if we’re not willing to die for something, we’ll probably either quit at some point or simply dwell in lukewarmness and mediocrity. And what a waste of time that is. How boring that makes for one’s life, whether ours or that of the ones we could have a chance of making a difference towards.

Most of what I am today is, in fact, a product of inspiration from people I’ve personally decided to look up to, over the years. These folks didn’t try to walk me through life, I simply chose to watch them in action. Heck, a lot of them failed many times. Yet, I followed and learned from reality instead. I guess, they must’ve been doing something that’s hard to ignore, whether in the form of words or deeds. Nonetheless, it was definitely effective.

I’ve never been a fan of learning by-the-book. I’m not saying we can’t get anything from it or that we shouldn’t. It’s just that when the book becomes the be-all-end-all, we become a slave to someone’s own thoughts and opinions. Our mind cannot, or rather, will not “break the rules” because we’re not able to see beyond those “rules.” And beyond is where the unknown universe lies. Beyond is where we find our true and unique selves.

A recipe calls for a clove of garlic. I put in five… so, sue me!

When one is not aware of the consequences, neither will the benefits be obvious. We learn truly from our own mistakes, not from that of others. We can’t possibly understand someone’s pain until we feel it ourselves. Why limit someone’s imagination, then? Why be the judge of what is “right” and “wrong?” Don’t we all have the capacity to make that decision for ourselves? What is the real issue here? Trust? Fear? Control? Insecurity? For instance, I’m not for abortion. I don’t recommend it. It is against my beliefs. But I certainly won’t think less of someone who decides otherwise. I may not agree, but I accept. Whether there are consequences or rewards, my only business in it is acceptance. So, why do we impose our man-made laws as if our opinions matter more than that of others. Why do we shove our morals down people’s throats… and call it love? Good luck gaining converts that way.

What I believe is that people need to inspire, as well as be inspired. We need to be heroes as much as we need heroes in our own lives. We need to show examples as well as we need to be shown examples. Real world examples. Ones that produce results. Because results are effective. We’ve all heard the cliche – We should be the change we want to see in the world. It’s true. But in the same token, we shouldn’t expect anyone to follow our lead. We can only be sincere in wanting to do our part without expecting anything in return. Yet, if we’re motivated enough, passionate enough, persevering enough… maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance we’ll turn some heads and raise some eyebrows. And to me, that’s a job well done already.

Just my 2 cents…

Oh by the way, still insisting on guitar lessons? Well, if you can handle a boot camp and promise not to quit, no matter what… rip me off for $30/hour.

Otherwise, stick to RockBand.

 

Contentment + Gratitude = Peace

In light of the current economic recession, I found myself pondering lately on how I’m incredibly blessed to have a stable job, right now. And not only is it stable, I truly feel that with this job, I am being paid for my hobbies, too! To wake up on Monday mornings excited to go to work is something I don’t take lightly. I am grateful that I am not only passionate about the work that I do, but also because I work with people whom I trust and consider friends… a very important factor, I believe. I can honestly say that in the last four years working where I work, I haven’t felt an ounce of stress, at all. Being in the office, in fact, does not feel all that much different from staying at home, either. This is just ridiculously good! Sometimes, I can’t help but wonder how much longer I can get away with it.

But even that’s only the beginning.

The real story I wanted to tell here is what dawned on me, this past couple of days. I realized that I have been debt-free for exactly one year now. Yes!!! I was able to pay off everything I owed right about the time the economy was beginning to falter. After having religiously lived like a broke college student (okay, I’m exaggerating a bit, but you know what I mean…) for many years, I was now able to breath freely and… well, not hesitate to fill up the tank and go for a joy ride, every now and then.

But wait… here’s the cherry on top of the whipped cream. Right after my debt was paid off, I set up an automated savings account just so I can get myself back to financial normalcy without having to think about it, all the time. Now, I had forgotten about this account. Yesterday, I decided to give it a look. Well, what do you know? I was surprised to find $26k in there! Just like that! From zero to $26k in 12 months! I was like… gee wiz, if not for my occasional trips to Guitar Center (which, by the way, can be hazardous to a struggling musician’s financial health), I would’ve ended up with much more! Haha! Nope, not complaining at all!

Anyhow, I’m not saying this is a lot or even a big deal of a case. Circumstances are obviously different for everyone. But for a single guy who loves the simple life and doesn’t need much (well, sans the occasional musical acquisitions), this is absolutely monumental. Yet, I don’t think my spending habits have changed much at all, after all these years. When you’ve trained yourself to be content out of necessity, contentment eventually becomes a comfortable way of life… even long after necessity has expired. And this goes beyond mere finances, of course! When you are grateful for the littlest things that come your way, trust me, the peace it allows you is simply priceless. And no matter where we’re at in life, isn’t peace what we all crave for, ultimately?

I thought so. Especially, in times like these.

 

The leader of the quack

Ahh, yes… the joy of childhood fantasies!

Our parents must’ve been looking for us by now. But as the self-proclaimed chief of the mob, I had convinced my younger brother Lito (to my right) and cousin Allen (my left) to rebel instead, by going outside the house for a minute to terrorize the neighborhood with our sinister presence. Look out, people!

Though, funny how if we took that same picture today, I’d be the shortest one in the group… looking more like a stupid duck than The Wild One, actually. Hmmm…

So, maybe we’ll just scrap that idea for now. Some memories are best left alone and not relived, I suppose.

 

Weapon of choice

I’ve been meaning to write about this for a couple of days now but haven’t had the time to do so. There was this news article that hit me like a ton of bricks. Two teenage girls walking down the street are intercepted by men who throw acid on their faces simply because they’re going to school. Sort of a punishment for their desire to get an education, I guess. I don’t really need to go into the moral aspect of this incident since it is pretty obvious that the act was not only wrong but utterly coward.

I mean, is that all they have to scare these two defenseless individuals with? A bottle of acid? Apparently, it was nothing. They had a lousy weapon. What a shame! Is it because they knew that knowledge was a weapon that might be used against them eventually? Or was it because they were women and that they didn’t like the idea of them getting anywhere in life, let alone getting ahead of them? It probably was a scary thought that they just had to shamelessly put a stop to it. Whatever it takes.

But there’s something worse. Apparently, there’s a chance that someone from the authorities are actually paying these men to commit such acts on a regular basis and to make it look like it wasn’t their idea. They’re even paying them for each teacher they kill. It’s nauseating, really. And to know that these girls are helpless, what weapon could they possibly pick up to be able to fight back somehow? Just for human rights, and no more.

Education? Yes, but when it is forcefully taken away from you, there has to be something else in the meantime, to take its place. What could it be? Anger? Force? Rebellion? Or could it possibly come from a different place? Perhaps, like courage? Faith, maybe? Hope?

It’s fairly easy for a lot of us to give our two cents on this, I’m sure, since we’re far away from such situations. But I’d like to be able to put myself in the shoes of those oppressed and really see how difficult it is to find a way out when one is locked up not only physically, but also emotionally and culturally.

Personally, it seems like all I can think of right now is pray.

Speaking of weapons…

 

I hope he fails…?

What? Excuse me?

Not only is this a rude comment, in my opinion… what’s worse is that it drags along with it more than just the person being spoken of here, but more importantly, the world that is now celebrating a collective sense of victory.

Now, I can say that I’m as much into politics as James Hetfield is into Britney Spears. But, out of curiosity, I do read about it sometimes. Especially, these days when the entire planet is all ears on something very specific. On CNN this morning, they aired Rush Limbaugh’s comment on Barack Obama and I couldn’t help but notice the way we sometimes, as human beings, can be. Focused on self. I’m not belittling anyone’s personal opinion but sometimes, it helps to simply join hands with the majority even when we don’t agree. Just for the sake of peace and unity, if anything. Everyone knows that no one will ever agree a hundred percent with anyone. Or on anything, for that matter. But whether we like it or not, things happen for a reason. And I choose to believe it’s always a good one, on the whole. If we don’t allow faith and hope to give us a chance, I’m afraid we will have run ourselves out of luck.

This past few days, it’s hard to ignore the feelings of people, not only in the U.S., but all over the world. The unguarded happiness, the pride, the feeling of hope fulfilled and the sense of gratitude. Politics aside, I believe that it would do all of us good to just appreciate this momentary lapse of negativity, as it rarely lasts awhile. Much like any kind of celebration, it all comes to an end eventually. And the very next day will leave everyone a personal task. One that will make sure the party the night before was not held in vain. One that will allow us to witness even more personal successes, not failure. And one that will give us a reason to keep on celebrating, in fact.

For one man’s victory can be ours, as well. But then again, so can his failure. So, why hope for that?

 

Junk deluxe

This photo was taken in Hollywood, CA sometime in the mid ’90’s… A bunch of my friends and I wanted to get rid of some of our personal junk for a good cause. So we decided to set up a weekend yard sale out on a vacant lot somewhere. As far as I can remember, we did good on our little fund-raiser. One reason that, I believe,  gave us the edge was that we had entertainment provided. After all, we were artists and could come up with such unique twist to rouse up an otherwise humdrum activity.

Here we were on an early Saturday morning spreading our wealth for all to ogle on. And hopefully pay cold hard cash for. Well, it wasn’t much, I realize now. But anyhow, here my friend Mike is checking out Myles’ cello to see if it’s really in tune, as he claims it is. After all, this is a make-or-break gig in which the success of our operation heavily depended on.

Myles (wearing a hat) was our entertainer, indeed. As the rest of us smiled and greeted passersby and onlookers, there he was serenading and luring them into being prospective buyers of our rubbish.

Ahh… the things you do for Jesus!

 

Mr. Nanny goes berserk

That’s it!! You’re just gonna have to clean up your own mess this time, Nevada!

Only one of us is having the most fun, at this very moment, it seems.

My patience,  I swear, was being tested by this young lady during a time her parents were out running errands or something. But no, it’s not all cereal-spillingfest everytime. For the most part, it was a lot of fun for both parties, actually. And a very fulfilling  job. For me, anyway.

It’s been a while, but I got to be nanny to my friend’s four kids once. That’s right! Four! I can only imagine how being a parent to four overcharged little creatures can be like. It was quite an adventure for sure, yet a moment that will always have a special place in my heart.

I never had kids myself but I have gone through life numerous times, with little people popping in here and there, giving me headaches, chores to do, unanswerable questions to ask… heck, even a reason to love them, believe it or not! In fact, I believe there’s no better way to grow up than to experience life with kids growing up themselves. And getting down to their level, meeting them where they’re at. It might put a few gray strands on your head but I reckon, it’s all worth it in the end.

The few times I was privileged to spend any time with kids, at all – be it a step father, a big brother, a teacher or even just a mere nanny, in fact – were the ones I treasure the most. Am I good at it? Well, it’s not an easy thing, to say the least, and I seem to stumble a lot. Although I try to pick myself up, everytime. And yes, I would do it again, if given a chance. Hopefully, having grown up a little, by then.

But time seems to be running out, isn’t it?

 

A little reflection

It seems like forever, the last time I was around here, doesn’t it? I’m grateful to those who are patient enough to let me get through what seems to be a blackout of sorts. It only makes sense, I think, to stop writing rather than post a bunch of worthless junk, just for the sake of posting.

But here I am today! Oh yes, happy new year to all! I’d like to take things one day at a time and start over fresh. Or something like that. I want to be able to capture the sincerity I’ve always attempted to achieve in my words. Though these days, it seems like I’ve been reminiscing a lot about the past. Could this be that the past has been haunting me! Geez, I hope not. But I do have a wonderful past that I’m very grateful for. A past that made me the person I am today. And I think it’s worth visiting.

One frozen moment at a time.

Yesterday, I was cleaning up some here in the house when I happen to dig up some old pictures from years past (that was before we stored them in hard drives). I was going through a lot of them and next thing you know, I get a cramp from having sat on the floor for a few hours straight. But they put a smile on my face and made me realize how lucky I am to have been blessed with a good life. To have gone through places, relationships, and even some hard times. They’re all wonderful, I think. And worth looking at, from time to time. I can’t remember the last time I flipped through my old photos. But today, I wish to revisit some of them on a regular basis. And share the memories with you.

But I do have to scan them first, don’t I? Hang tight…

(Goes to Office Depot to get a cheap scanner.)

Okay, I’m back. Hmmm, let’s see. Oh, here’s a good one to start… a picture of me on the edge of a cliff.

This was taken in the summer of 2000. A few of my friends and I went out to the Grand Canyon in Arizona for a little spiritual retreat. Here I am, looking so incredibly confident even when in fact, I did decide not to take that leap of faith, after all! Good idea, maybe. However, I remember how rejuvenating it was, not only to stand on the edge of a cliff that goes thousands of feet down below, but to savor the utter beauty of nature and life, as well.

I may not be going back to the Grand Canyon anytime soon, but I would love to revisit the feeling of having seen its awe and majesty. That feeling of possibility. And eternity.

It does good to the soul, I tell ya!

 

Still here

Have I suddenly fallen off the face of the Earth? Of course, I have!

But why? Well, I’m not so sure why. Or rather, I’m not so sure if my answer would make any difference. One day, I was typing away as usual. The next day, my PC was shut off. And it’s been off for over a month now. For some reason, I had lost interest. I couldn’t write a single word. I couldn’t whistle a single note. Sometimes, it boggles me. It’s not that something’s happened. I mean, my life seems as normal as it has ever been. Nothing’s changed much, really. I just feel out of it, I guess. All of a sudden, I got lazy, overwhelmed and distracted. Over nothing! Or so, I think. But my creative juices have dried up, it seems.

I didn’t think it would last this long, though. In fact, I didn’t think this post would mark the end of the streak, either. But at least, I’m able to tell all of you that I’m still around. I’m just trying to heal from the wounds of the past, that’s all.

Though I can’t believe, a lot has happened since. It’s fall. It’s snowing. Halloween came and went. There’s a new president, even? Wow, where have I been?

Okay, I’ll tell you where I’ve been. Paris! No, not the real one… but dang! That fake Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas sure looks real. No? Well, I’ve never seen the real one so I really can’t compare. All I know is that I had fun, at least. Vegas is so different now from the last time I was there. That’s when Robert DeNiro and Joe Pesci still ruled the strip. And the food was cheap! Sigh!

Anyhow, I feel bad that some of you may have been wondering and that I have not left a clue. I’m so sorry. Sometimes I just have to do what I have to do to stay sane. If that makes any sense.

But like I said, I will be back. You’ll wait, won’t you?

 

Everything is hard…

Everything is hard

But sometimes, I wonder which is harder…

To have seen everything or to have been blind since birth?
To not have the answers or to not know the questions?
To grant forgiveness or to ask for it?
To put your guard up or to put it down?
To respect fear or to ignore it?
To embrace pain or to dodge it?
To lie to someone or to yourself?
To lose your innocence or to preserve it?
To defend your life or to surrender it?
To admit guilt or to deny it?
To know little or to know much?
To recognize what is right or what is wrong?
To deal or to walk away?
To open your mouth or to keep it shut?
To raise your head up high or to bow down low?
To serve justice or to show mercy?
To earn your freedom or to receive it as a gift?
To swallow the truth or to spit it out?

I’m still trying to figure it out.

Have you?