Honesty and Insecurity – a story of sibling rivalry

I had a dream. Crazy dream. Actually, I have a lot of them. But, last night was about Honesty. Again.

Honesty is my imaginary bodyguard. He is the strongman who saves the day. Everyday. At home. At work. In the grocery store. You name it! He’s there, ready to defend me with his very convincing karate chops.

The problem is that, a lot of times, Honesty fizzles out like deodorant spray, when I wake up. He flops himself away into oblivion like a terrified chicken being chased by Colonel Sanders.

Although, I know he’s there when I’m awake, it’s hard to believe he really is, now. In my heart, I know he exists. And, of course, he does! But I think he’s afraid to show himself somehow. I’m not so sure why. Could it be because he’s actually a scary looking dude, with scars on his face and all over his body? I never really saw him that way, though. Or maybe, he’s just afraid people would judge him by his words. After all, they sound too good to be true, a lot of times. Trust me, I know.

sibling rivalryYou see, when I was little, Honesty was not imaginary, at all. He was real. He was everywhere I was. All the time. Willing to be the silly, yet simple friend that he truly was. But as I grew up, I noticed him become more and more withdrawn. I would ask him what’s wrong, and he would always snap back with… nothing. Hmm, that doesn’t sound like the Honesty I know. I was a little disappointed by this, in fact. One day, he confessed to me that he has a twin. An evil twin, as he coined it. I was a bit taken aback by this revelation.

“What? Why are you telling me this, just now? What’s his name, anyway?”

“Insecurity. His name’s Insecurity,” Honesty uttered, in a trembling whisper. I couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. Sorry. But, why would someone have such a geeky name? I thought. Anyhow, I asked Honesty again, why he’s telling me this, just now.

“I’ve always wanted to tell you,” he said, “but Insecurity would lock me up, everytime. And then, he would walk about pretending to be me. Then, he would brainwash me, so that I won’t remember anything, later.”

“That’s awful,” I stated indignantly. “You mean, all that smiley, goofy face wasn’t yours, after all?”

Honesty said that it wasn’t him that was keeping me company, all the time. Especially, as I grew older. Nope. The fake stuff that was going around at the time, was rampant! He said, “My brother was in high demand! And he delivered with gusto! Ya know… Fake smiles. Fake tears. Fake reality! He’s a real trendsetter.”

Excuse me? Oh, fantasy island. I see! De plenn, de plenn.

Geez! I can’t tell you how devastating it was for me to discover this. To find out that though Honesty may be strong, Insecurity is much, much stronger, indeed. And deceptive, at that! And that he also wanted Honesty gone, forever. Oh my! How much more criminal could one be? Now, I had to go through a lot of hoops just to see if it was Honesty or Insecurity that was really on my side, at a particular moment. It was not easy to tell. And very frightening, indeed!

But that was a long time ago. It’s been sometime now since I had seen him face-to-face. Although, his spirit has always stayed with me. Like a painting or an old photograph, I will always be reminded of what he looks like. But more importantly, I was left a promise that he would always be there (albeit, in spirit) whenever I need his karate chops to scare off those venturing to hurt me. However, there’s a clause. That is, only if I get smart enough to recognize, if the ever conniving Insecurity ever gets in the way; that I would be brave enough to kick his butt (so to speak), so Honesty can do what he does best. Protect me from harm. And at the same time, teach his little big brother (or big little brother; whichever works) a thing or two about reality, as well. And, I’m happy to say… so far so good.

At this time though, my alarm goes off. Six a.m. I am now on my own, once again, in the middle of the great unknown.

Or, am I? Let’s go find out! 🙂

8 thoughts on “Honesty and Insecurity – a story of sibling rivalry

  1. Haha, I enjoyed that; A whimsical little parody.

    You can see how Honesty and Insecurity would be related and yet they’re quite distinct; as if they’d grown apart during childhood. But, I suppose I’d rather be friends with Honesty, because he’s someone to trust no matter what the circumstance. Insecurity on the other hand needs someone to love/validate him in order to be like his brother. Wheeeeeeeee.

    That opening line… The Song Remains the Same?

    They actually love each other, deep inside. The other guy’s just being a knucklehead. A crafty little front for his wimpiness.

    And yes, The Song Remains the Same, it is. Very perceptive of you, oh mighty dragon slayer!

  2. what a creative way to juxtapose the two seemingly unrelated terms. anyway, it’s an interesting idea to ponder on… btw, ni-link po kita ha 🙂

    They may be unrelated terms, but they are close spiritual brothers, nonetheless. 🙂

  3. We’re always grappling with the opposing parts of ourselves aren’t we? I suppose it’s just human nature. Honesty is often crushed by insecurity. Very perceptive post.

    Always. This spiritual battle is what forms our society, I think.

  4. Thanks for sharing your dark side with us. I was not surprised to hear this, like someone else here said, “I’d rather be friends with Honesty, because he’s someone to trust no matter what the circumstance. Insecurity on the other hand needs someone to love/validate him in order to be like his brother,” because it’s kind of like what I was saying to you earlier about not being afraid to be preachy, just speak the truth. Not everyone has to like you, they won’t if they don’t like the truth. I guess it’s all in how you approach it.

    I agree that we all are always grappling with the opposing parts of ourselves. If you are gifted with openness, the enemy wants you to be closed. Gifted with compassion? The enemy wants you to slam doors in people’s faces. Confident? He wants you doubting yourself. That’s a really ugly one. If you are friendly, he wants you to be bitter, mean and nasty ( I’ve dealt with that).

    Great post Chris! Though provoking.

    Dark side? Hmm.. I never said it was about me.

    The story is an observation on the spiritual side of society. But of course, I’m part of that society, so I guess you can say, it’s about me too. 🙂

  5. Whoops. So much CREATIVITY! You keep me guessing:) Society, I guess I can see that. hmmmmm

    That’s alright. All of us have a dark side. And insecurity is a common ground. I’m just trying to expose it so no one has to. 🙂

    And creativity? What creativity? It’s a dream, remember? Think I made it up? Go ask Honesty. 😛

  6. Wow. I freaking love this post. I love the whole concept of this. Your an excellent visual writer. One of your strengths I think.

    Thanks, Bekki. I’m really not a writer. Every once in a while, I have a nightmare that translates well into words. That’s all.

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